In Search of Snow White and Berries Red

The Illinois sky delivered its first snowfall for the 2016/17 season on December 4th, and it was a humdinger. It couldn't have come at a better time. 

You see, Sunday I had a bad case of the sads. The anniversary of my father's death is approaching, and I have been a little melancholy anyway, but mostly, my mother's heart was troubled, as mother's hearts are wont to do when any of her children are suffering. 

Everything made me cry that day. Watching a video of a police officer saving a woman's life with CPR made me cry. Seeing old pictures of my children made me cry. Reading my old blog posts made me cry. When Chuck offered to fly me home this week to spend time with my kids, I cried harder. How he puts up with me is a wonder.

I was at the kitchen sink when I noticed the first snowflake. And then another. "It's snowing," I told Chuck, my voice breaking. Good grief. I had WANTED it to snow, and seeing my wish come true made me dissolve into another puddle of tears. 

We stayed home from church, which was probably a good thing on many levels. The snowplows hadn't gotten out yet, my head hurt, and I was afraid I would just cry through the entire meeting. 

During breakfast, Sierra Facetimed us, and she actually made me laugh. Texts from the boys soon let me know everyone was feeling much better about life on Sunday. Sierra was relaxing at home, getting ready to decorate a tree someone anonymously left on her front porch, and the boys were with Jamie, hunting in Pine Valley for their Christmas tree with a shotgun. (That's a story for another day.)

All of the crying I had done gave me a headache, and Chuck had one, too, so we both settled down for a long winter's nap. Meanwhile, the snow continued to fall, and when we woke up, the world was covered in white. 

We dug out all of our winter wear, putting on layers under our jeans and sweaters. I was so worried I wouldn't be able to zip my pants and ski jacket, but I guess the five pounds I'd lost these last two weeks did me some good; everything zipped! We set off to walk in Saint Charles' winter wonderland. Chuck brought one of our cameras, and I put my iPhone in a plastic bag for safekeeping.

I love my Beart for putting up with all of the selfies. Making and preserving memories are so important to me.

Silly things still brought me to tears for the rest of the day. It's like someone opened the floodgates, and tried to close them, but didn't quite get the job done. I saw big, old-fashioned Christmas lights on a house; Dad's favorite lights for the tree. Tears. I saw seven cardinals flitting back and forth in our backyard. More tears. I always think of Daddy when I see Virginia's state bird. 

That bad case of the sads eased throughout our afternoon, and by the time we got home, I was feeling somewhat refreshed and hopeful again.
Thanks to freezing temperatures, there was plenty of snow to photograph the next day, too, and I drove downtown to walk around Pottawatomie Park in search of pictures of red berries covered in snow. 

What a difference a day makes. I felt so happy and lighthearted, knowing all of our children are doing okay, our family is healthy, and we all have reasons to smile today. 

Not only did I find red berries and plenty of snow, I finally found my smile.