Nevertheless

Old me used to make the same resolutions every single New Year's Day. 


- Read the Bible.
- Work out (x) number of days per week.
- Write every day.
- Lose 10 pounds.

These words, borrowed from the feminist movement, feel especially meaningful today.

There are so many reasons I have found myself in the same spot at the beginning of every year. And to be brutally honest, I know you know that I have more than ten excess pounds to lose this time around. 

This morning, I made a list of all of the excuses I have used in the past for not sticking with my goals.

I don't feel like <insert task here>.

It's too hot. (Too cold. Too dry. Too humid.) 

I didn't sleep well.

Yesterday was hard.

I want a day off.

My (body/muscles/head) hurts.

I have so far to go.

I'm bored.

I deserve to do whatever I want, whenever I want.

2018 is going to be different. This year I am shooting for progress, not perfection. I'm allowing myself mistakes, and granting myself mulligans. I'm well aware of my weaknesses, and I know some days will be better than others, but as long as I don't quit, and just pick up where I left off as soon as I can, I will get closer to my goals. 

What do I need to do TODAY to make progress? Even if I only do a little bit of reading, a super-short workout, or a few minutes of writing, it will be better than nothing at all, right?

I can move forward, even on bad days. Even if I can't do my best, I can make an effort. Even if I don't feel like working on my goals. Even if the weather is lousy. Even if I feel unmotivated. Even if the day before did not go according to plan. 

One phrase that I heard during one of my workout videos a few weeks ago hit home. "If you're tired of starting over, stop quitting!" I am sooo tired of starting over, of having the same goals at the beginning of each year, of starting over in the same (or an even worse) spot every single year. 

January first is the day I claim my choice for a new focus word. I want it to be a word that motivates me toward progression, not necessarily perfection, since I've finally realized the flaw with "all or none" thinking. Adhering to schedules or goals or diets or exercise plans with hopes of doing so perfectly just sets me up for feeling like a failure as soon as I hit a bump in the road.

My focus words these last few years were: connection, intentional, discovery, and brave. I have been bombarded with so many great phrases that would help me, but I needed distill a phrase into a single word that would work. 

To me, there is a word that represents not quitting and not giving up. That word is PERSISTENCE. Maintaining the course, despite the obstacles. Finishing the race, no matter how slow. Sticking to the plan, in spite of how I feel on any given day.

Old me would be all gung-ho on January first, checking things off of my list, but as soon as old me had a bad day, or made a bad choice, or felt like I had let myself down, I would be embarrassed by my failure, and wonder why I even try. Before too long, my resolutions would fade into some vague memory, and then would simply disappear from my thoughts.

Of course, today I'm feeling all gung-ho, just like all of those other years, but my experiences from these last two months have let me know that even when my choices are less than desirable, I don't have to throw in the towel. I can decide right then and there that this is not how the story is going to end. I don't have to play the victim any more because I always have the option of making a new choice at the next opportunity.

I'm fascinated by the concept of focus words, and am always so encouraged by the words my friends choose. Have you considered a motivational word for you for this year? I would love to hear what it is. We can cheer each other on this year. 

If you had to choose one word, what would it be?