If I'm honest, it's not the day usually, but my attitude. All day long I have felt this unnamed feeling that just doesn't feel like it should belong to me. What the heck is wrong with me when days like this sneak up on me?
Nothing is really wrong, but nothing really feels right. My problems are so minimal; I know that. I have the normal aches and pains, but nothing to complain about. I have a good husband, amazing kids who like each other, two adorable puppies, and a pretty good life. Occasionally, I just get a case of the sads, out of the blue, and it makes me feel a little crazy.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep. The puppies needed to go out at 2:45 this morning, and while they both eventually fell asleep beside me on the couch, I couldn't sleep. I read for awhile from the Bible, thinking the Old Testament would put me to sleep, but it didn't today.
Maybe it's going without my favorite treats for over a month now. I'm not eating "sugar-free," but I am avoiding the foods that lead to binges: cookies, ice cream, and chocolate. Today I have wanted to eat ALL THE THINGS. But not the things in my house; they are too boring. I wanted frozen custard, red velvet cookies, salted caramel anything... Instead I ate a couple of protein bars, tangerines, stale whole wheat rolls I found in the back of the freezer, peanut butter from the jar, and I even made the mistake of trying a comfort food from childhood: Chef Boyardee ravioli. Ugh. So disappointing. I've still got most of the contents of the can left, if anyone wants it.
|Trying Ravioli in a can did NOTHING to improve my day. Yuck. |
Not like I remembered!
Maybe it's missing my kids. I haven't seen them since the middle of January. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing at least one of them. And it will be awhile yet before we get to visit.
Maybe it's this weather. Today is chilly and grey. The forecast threatens rain and snow during the next two weeks. We have crocuses up; it's time for sunshine and blue skies, isn't it? You're probably shocked I'm whining about future snow. Let me remind you; I have two puppies, that's eight puppy paws, to clean up after now. Snow and rain are not my friends at the moment.
|Trust me; they get LOUD.|
Maybe it's listening to the puppies play. Doesn't that seem like a silly thing to not be able to enjoy? Have you ever listened to puppies play? It sounds like a fight to the death. No one gets hurt, and no one draws blood, but it sounds like the hounds of hell battling it out in my kitchen.
Maybe it's just one of those days. That's probably it. Sometimes it's nothing, and everything, that seems to add up to just a weirdly blasé day when there is a lack of energy and and an abundance of blah, and we wish we could just change the way we feel.
By late afternoon, I'd had enough of feeling pitiful, and decided I'd get out of the house for a bit. My big adventure would only take me to Walmart, but at least for an hour I would see other humans.
While I was filling my grocery cart, I decided to think of a few things for which I was thankful. Obviously, my husband and kids came to mind, and the puppies; dirty paws, kitchen brawls, and all. And then I saw these roses in the fresh produce section. Pale pink petals, so soft and delicate. In the middle of a yucky day, I took the time to "stop and smell the roses," and it made me feel a little better. I didn't even have to buy them to enjoy them.
I know that nothing is made better by complaining. And I'm glad I remembered that everything is made a little better by being grateful. I do have so much for which to be grateful.
And I just thought of a great big thing to give thanks for! I hope this isn't premature to announce, but we haven't had any puppy accidents today! Hallelu-yer! (This will be our second accident-free day ever!)
This day is turning around, slowly but surely. If you're having a crummy day, I hope yours gets better, and that you can come up with a few things for which you're grateful. Go ahead; you might want to give it a try. It might soften the edges of a rough and yucky day. Hang in there. Friday's coming!