Tuesday, April 5, 2016

E is for Eliminate



Distracted much? I am guilty of multi-tasking to a fault. I like to pass the time as I am checking things off my to-do list by doing something I enjoy at the same time. 

*Talking to Chuck while exercising.

*Listening to books while organizing the house. 

*Watching a show while I fold laundry.

*Talking on the phone while driving long distances.

*Texting my husband at a stoplight.

Multi-tasking, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. In my opinion, killing two birds with one stone is efficient UNTIL...someone you love feels neglected because of the secondary activity. 

Let's say, hypothetically, that someone is physically in the same room with a loved one, and instead of focusing on the other person, SOMEONE is glued to a device, perusing Facebook. Hypothetically.

Would the ignored loved one be within his or her rights to be peeved, hypothetically speaking? 

Okay, let's put the hypotheticals aside. I might as well say it. I am guilty as charged of being so engrossed in Facebook that my sweet husband has felt disrespected and hurt that he was ignored while I was glued to my phone. 

We have had big, uncomfortable conversations, where I held my feet to the fire far longer than I wanted to do so, and we both slugged away at the topic until we came to a better understanding of what it will take for us to be good marriage partners and responsible users of social media. (See Dwelling in the Discomfort from the previous post.)

THIS IS SO HARD, and it really should not be. I'm FIFTY-FIVE years old, folks. I'm not a middle-schooler who doesn't know better. I am a grown woman who adores my husband, most of the time, when I am not forced to make a choice between checking my notifications and paying attention to him.  



It may not seem like much,
but there is a big hole missing
where FB used to be.
SO. As of yesterday, we both removed Facebook from our phones. Facebook will not accompany us in the car. Facebook will no longer follow us into the bedroom at night. 

When I can't sleep, I will no longer mindlessly scroll through my newsfeed. I chose to start small by eliminating my biggest distraction from my smallest device. My plan is to be more intentional in the use of my FB time. My husband and I will reevaluate things in the near future to see how we're doing in reducing the amount of time we devote to Facebook. 

Since Chuck and our family are my priorities, it's time I treat them that way. Rather than be distracted by my phone, I will be able to better have a one-track mind when it comes to the time I spend with my husband and children by eliminating my distraction of choice.

Facebook was mine; what's yours? Do you have a distraction you would like to eliminate?



Several of my friends are doing the blogging challenge with me. We have quite a variety in our group. If you enjoy intelligent, witty, thought-provoking writing, trust me; you'll love the way these powerful women write.

The Vast and Inscrutable Imponderabilities of Life by Antonia

Writing the Life Chaotic by Deb

Faith, Hope, Laughter...and Happily Ever After by Laura

Pushing the Bruise by Ros

Creative writing by Valerie

4 comments:

  1. I like this line, "I chose to start small by eliminating my biggest distraction from my smallest device." Sometimes though, the biggest distraction IS the smallest device. I am the one who felt somewhat invisible recently when my niece was visiting. We had so much to show her, but I felt unable to compete with one of the apps on her phone and we eventually decided we could not win. This is a brave and authentic post.

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    Replies
    1. I REALLY don't want my loved ones, especially Chuck, to EVER have to compete with ANY app. I am learning. Thank you for acknowledging how hard this was for me to admit this weakness of mine that I am learning to control.

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  2. That IS a big hole on your phone screen. Like a missing tooth. But I understand. All too well. I've been finding that when I'm with the people I want to be with the most, I don't want to be on FB; it's like an afterthought. But when I'm lonely, or not with the people I want to be with, I'm moderately compulsive about FB. Sigh.

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  3. I hear ya'. I am on a huge elimination bout with social media and in other areas of life, eliminating conversations with people who are dealing just trying to suck up my peace and joy and focusing more on nature and family. The issue you mention with notifications and husband is part of a widespread crisis, one which I know you are far more aware of than many people. I love that you a writing about things which help reinforce my own healthier choices too. In answer to your question about a distraction I'd like to eliminate, I'd like to stop getting snagged on conversations where someone says something hurtful or competitive but the best I can come up with is to ignore the behavior.

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