The Play's the Thing

Is my life like a play? Is there a plot riddled with conflict to keep the story line interesting? Is there a cast of characters who come and go as one scene changes to the next? And the biggest question is... Am I some diva on the stage trying to tell the director how to do his job?

I am discovering that to be truly happy, sometimes we have to let go of our attachment to a specific outcome. I thought I was so smart; I thought I knew what was best for me, but when life took some unexpected twists and turns this last year, I realized that sometimes we just have to release our expectations, and just enjoy the unexpected plot twists that come our way.

I shared this quote from LiveLifeHappy.com on Facebook this last week:

Since last winter, I had struggled with one setback after another. It seemed my life was not going according to my plan, in any way, shape, or form. I was so discouraged as I watched my life seemingly fall apart as I tried to deliver the old lines I had rehearsed, but it just wasn't working.

Once I let go of the way I thought this drama should be played out, there was room for new actors, new plot developments, new scenes, and frankly, I never could have predicted how delightful those changes would be. 

If you would have told me that this summer I would meet some of the most extraordinary people of my life...that I was going to come out of retirement to teach second graders...that I would be happily dating and having wonderful adventures with my "girls" and my kids, I probably would have scoffed at you. My life went from melodrama to comedy when I released my expectations, and I decided to accept this new way of normal.

Living in the now, perfecting my improv skills, has allowed so much more happiness into my life. If all the world's a stage, I would like to thank those of you who have been the best supporting actors and actresses I could have asked for in this epic adventure of life. 

The show must go on...and while I know the part I play is a small one on the Broadway stage of life, in my particular scenes, I will play my part wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm. It's time for me to scrap the script. I've been ad-libbing for months now, and I have to say, I'm happier and have more peace in my life without that old script to which I was clinging. One of the biggest changes I've had to make is relinquishing my perceived role as director. I am not in charge at all; I see that now. I am part of something so much bigger than myself, and I'm as excited as any audience member to see how this thing's going to end. 

Randomocity Spaghetti Bake (A Healthier Version of Million Dollar Spaghetti)

"Should we go out to dinner when we come down Friday night, or is there something special you'd like me to make?" I asked my older, married son.

"OOH! Would you make Million Dollar Spaghetti again? That is my favorite thing ever!" And yes, he uses the word "ooh." He's nothing, if not enthusiastic. Love that about my boy.

When I visit my married kids, I like to make something they'd enjoy eating, if it's feasible. Lately, I've been making two recipes' worth of whatever it is; one to eat, and one to freeze for later. 

We're heading down to Saint George for our first time this summer. It's not that I haven't wanted to see the kids, it's just hot as fried hell down there, and our schedules have been out of sync these last few weeks.

Last night, I decided to healthify Dylan's favorite Million Dollar Spaghetti recipe. The basic recipe combines all of these ingredients in one casserole: cooked spaghetti (broken into smaller pieces), spaghetti sauce, cottage cheese, cream cheese, sour cream, cooked hamburger and a stick of BUTTER. My intention was to make it a healthier, meatless dish with extra veggies, and I eliminated the butter entirely. By using veggie noodles, this dish is low in carbs, too.

During the summer, when there is an abundance of zucchini, I like to take advantage of that with my SPIRAL SLICER. It cuts the zucchini into spaghetti noodles, and it's so simple to use. Peeling the zucchini first seems to make the noodles a little less crunchy, and more pasta-like.

If the idea of zucchini noodles makes you nervous, just substitute whole grain spaghetti noodles or your favorite pasta, and cook according to directions on the package.

Last night's concoction got rave reviews. It was tasty, and microwaving the noodles first eliminated the crunchiness. When I make it for the kids tonight, we'll be using moose meat because we can. I like utilizing wild game when it's available because it's lower in fat, and, you have to admit,  it's just fun to say "moose meat."

RANDOMOCITY SPAGHETTI BAKE

Serves 6

INGREDIENTS

4 medium zucchini, peeled and spiral sliced into noodles OR a box of whole wheat spaghetti noodles, if you prefer

1 medium onion

1 c. mushrooms

1 t. garlic, minced

1 (16 oz.) jar of spaghetti sauce (I love the chunky garden-style, either Ragu or Great Value)

8 oz. cottage cheese (I use nonfat, but don't tell my family!)

8 oz. cream cheese, softened (Neufchâtel works great)

1/4 c. Greek yogurt, plain, nonfat

8 oz. mozzarella

While sautéing onion, mushrooms and garlic in a small amount of olive oil, spiralize the peeled zucchini. I like the noodles to be tender, so I microwave them for several minutes before assembling the casserole.

In a medium bowl, combine the cottage cheese, cream cheese, and yogurt. Stir in half of the mozzarella cheese. Set aside.

Spray non-stick coating on casserole dish (9x9), and line the bottom of the pan with half of the microwaved zucchini noodles. Add the layer of sautéed vegetables, and then spread the cheese and yogurt mixture. Top with the remaining zucchini, and then pour the spaghetti sauce over all. 

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, topping casserole with remaining mozzarella during the last five minutes. (I browned the cheese under the broiler.)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

"Let's do lunch," girlfriends will say to each other. Not mine, though. My girls say, "Adventure awaits. Be ready in an hour." I love that about my friends. Our plans are not "maybe, someday, we ought-a" plans. We won't be living with regrets of the coulda, shoulda, woulda variety. These women make right here-right now-let's do something-even if it's wrong-kind of plans.

Red Hat Society, Nelson County High School Chapter, Summer of 2013

My high school girlfriends mostly stayed close to home in Virginia. Since I moved the farthest away, when I go back to visit, those of us who can, get together. I love the camaraderie, the friendship, and the warm feelings I have whenever I am with them. The miles may separate us, but through Facebook, we are able to stay in touch with each other, celebrating our milestones, and mourning our losses together.

My Daring Greatly Friends from My 500 Words writing group on Facebook, Ros and Tonia

My virtual friendships formed through a writers' group on Facebook took things to the next level when we had a meet-up via the Randomocity Road Trip. We didn't sit around bemoaning the fact that we were each more than a dozen hours' drive away from each other. One of us said, "Come stay at my ranch," and the other two jumped at the opportunity. Ya gotta love women who make things happen.

This summer as a single girl, I've done some fun things with my female friends, singles and married. I joined the gym and cycled the canyon and went tubing down the river with Laura. Sharmel and I met for lunch at Pepperbellys. My college roommates and I took advantage of all three of us being in the same state at the same time, and enjoyed a leisurely Vietnamese lunch of Pho. 

And then there's Kimberly. She is my hero. I'm taking notes on how to live my life as spontaneously as possible from that girl. 

Kimberly took me to the Whiskey Street Pub and Grill before the Train concert. It's been awhile since I've been carded. ;-)

Because of her, I've been to the Kayenta Street Painting Festival near Saint George, and I've learned not to eat edamame pods at the Happy Sumo restaurant, and how to eat artichokes at the Whiskey Street Pub and Grill in Salt Lake City. We went to the Train concert in downtown Salt Lake, and I watched her handle the drunk guys behind us with class and style. 

Pam and me

Even though I moved away from Marysvale, I still visit my friends there each month at the Ladies' Luncheon at Marysvale Diner. Our photography group still gets together, and I love every chance I get to see my girlfriends in Bullion Canyon.

Sporting our Brain Buckets before Cycling the Bike Trail down the Canyon

My girlfriends push me to live my life outside my comfort zone. They ask the hard questions, and they listen with their hearts. They encourage me to live my life to the fullest. Where would I be without my girls? Life would not be near as much fun, and we all know, girls just want to have fun.

The BYU Cougars Gather in Provo

My Workout Partner, Biking Partner, and River Floating Partner Laura

When was the last time you thought, "My friends and I should get together?" Do it. Do it now. You won't regret it! Make a plan, follow through, and have fun with your girls!

Happy? No, Not Yesterday

Our writing prompt for yesterday was "HAPPY." Here's what I wrote on my laptop, but was unable to publish because of technical difficulties:

“Happy. Happy. Happy.”

Nope, not feeling it. Today I’m experiencing vacation hangover. 

Too much food. 

Too much gelato.

Not enough training before hiking in the Rockies.

Even stretching during the hike didn't help much.

Too much silliness.

 Too much junk food.

Too many issues upon our arrival home.

To begin with: no internet connection. Are you kidding me? And the technicians were already booked through today, so no tech support can make a service call until TOMORROW. 

Ants have invaded my home in my absence. I had tossed an empty cookie tin on the floor that had been in my suitcase. When I picked it up, it was covered in ants, inside and out. We had a funeral at sea, of sorts, at the kitchen sink. There were no survivors. Of that particular crew. I have a feeling there are plenty of reinforcements still undetected.

My legs are still screaming with pain from our hike on Saturday. It was fun. It was beautiful. It was worth it. "Hiking" our flat bike trail by my house in no way prepared me for the gains in elevation in Boulder, Colorado.

Communication breakdowns seemed to be a theme yesterday. Still sorting through those issues. If a woman finds her voice, but no one comprehends her message, do her words still count? 

Exercise, for me, cures a variety of ills, so I took off for my walk before the day got away from me. The air was cool; the sky was partly cloudy. Perfect. Except. Mother nature "called" at the worst possible moment. Seriously? The nearest portapotty was two and a half miles away. My schedule is so off. 

Luckily, I flagged a friend down on her way to work, and she whisked me home speedily.  I promised myself to try to make it to Zumba later. My mojo is messed up, and I’m just going to sit here and sip coffee for awhile.

My day was full of lethargy and slothfulness. I pushed myself to go to Zumba at 7:00, but was feeling poorly with cramps and a headache. I barely broke a sweat; I was pushing myself to the limit just to be there. I made a quick dinner for Bridger when I got home, and headed to bed with a heating pad. 

Maybe I can write about the HAPPY prompt another day. This one just wasn't one of those days.

Now Comes the Hard Part

"All my bags are packed.

I'm ready to go.

The taxi's waiting;

He's blowing his horn.

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye."

Yes, I tend to think in lyrics at times like this. My suitcase is full of rumpled clothes. I'm having my second cup of coffee. All I want to do is jump on the kids in their beds, and make them laugh. Just one more day...

But we've had our weekend together, and they have to get ready for work soon. I hate to wake them when they all love to sleep so much. So, I'll give them just a bit longer, and then I'll try to keep the tears in check when I tell them goodbye.

These faces, though. 

They make me think. They make me smile. They make me laugh. Just last night, Jason and Bridger were "playing music" on their root beer bottles at Ted's, our favorite restaurant in Lakewood. Then they entertained us with their guitar playing when we came back home.

Hans will be about 60 pounds heavier the next time we see him, unless we get together sooner. His Daddy was a great big Great Dane at 175 pounds; I think he's on his way... Sigh. It's time to go. We've had so much fun. If only I didn't like these folks so much, it would be so much easier to say goodbye. I'm a lucky mama; I know that. Goodbye, Sweet Girl. Goodbye, Jason. Goodbye, Hans. This mama loves you all so much.

Convincing Kids to Be Happy Hikers (The Flatirons in Boulder)

If I were in a city, looking up at a 90-story building, and I wanted to get to the top, I would probably opt for the elevator over the stairway. Put me in front of a mountain, though, and I'm pretty determined to "take the stairs." As a grown-up living in the Rocky Mountains, hiking is my idea of fun. From what I saw yesterday, though, most of the little kids who were hiking were there against their wishes. There weren't many happy hikers in the pre-teen set.

The Flatirons

We were looking up at the Flatirons in Boulder, Colorado. The trailhead is at the Chautauqua Park. The gain in elevation is over 1,400 feet if one hikes to where the rock climbers go, and that was our plan.

People come out in droves to the Chautauqua Park. We noticed many families with small children, cajoling and pleading with their unwilling little ones to keep hiking. One little girl, dressed in pink from the top of her Patagonia hat to her little hiking boots, kept running back down toward the trailhead, and then whimpered as she trudged back up to her waiting parents. Another family was having a pow-wow to convince their pouting child that this was going to be FUN. "We're almost there," I heard one mom lie to her whining child, half-way up the mountain. 

"I wish I'd figured out a way to take you kids hiking when you were little," I told Sierra. "But after witnessing all of the grumpy little kids up here today, maybe it's a good thing I didn't."

"I probably wouldn't be hiking with you today if you had taken me when I was little," Sierra laughed. She confided that the only time she actually goes hiking is when we are visiting each other. And poor Jason loves sleeping in on the weekend. I felt pretty honored that they would dedicate this Saturday morning to hiking with me. I love being outdoors, especially with the ones I love.

You learn a lot about people when you're hiking together. What I know about my kids is they're not whiners; they care about each other and me; they have great stamina; and they like to have fun. 

Jason and Sierra were constantly checking on me, offering to take breaks to catch our breath, and wanting to help me over the rough terrain. I assured them that as long as I didn't have to replicate any of Jason's strong-arm moves between the boulders, I'd be just fine. It's actually harder to hold someone's hand and maneuver through the rocks, if you ask me. The guys in our family always offer to give me a hand; I always politely decline. 

Looking out over Boulder. The tell-tale red roofs indicate the location of the Colorado University campus.

Jason and Sierra are good sports to indulge me in hiking.

The Flatiron Access trail actually gains about 1400 feet in elevation. We were not out to set any records, though, and after hiking over 900 feet up, we enjoyed a rest on a rocky overlook, and decided to head down to the festivities on Pearl Street in Boulder, where the Ironman race was being held.

My suggestion to parents who want their children to hike with them is to go early before the day gets too hot. To avoid emotional melt-downs, pack plenty of drinks and snacks, and plan on lots of breaks. 

Or you can just do what I did. Wait until your kids are old enough to enjoy hiking without pouting. I had to wait awhile, but it worked for me. I love my happy hikers.

These are some of my favorite shots from today...

Ever wonder where rock climbers go potty when they're outside
all day? Wonder no more. The park service provides "Restop 2"
bags for their convenience. "Commode sold separately." Wonder
how many of them haul their commode with them in their
backpacks?

My glutes have been giving me fits this week. I took every opportunity
to stretch them out, utilizing the available rocks and trees.

Thanks for giving up a morning of sleeping in to take me hiking, J!

From the top, "it's all downhill." Thank goodness.

Go Ahead, Say the "S" Word

We have a rule in my house. During any given summer vacation, no one, and I mean NO ONE, is allowed to say the "S" word after the last day of school in May until August first. 

Get it? Got it? Good. 

The "S" word, you ask? Yes. Not that naughty word your mom hates. And no, not the other words for "be quiet." (I never allow THAT word; there's just never a good time to be rude.) I'm talking about the SCHOOL word.

Bridger made the mistake of asking when we were going Back to School Shopping two weeks ago. 

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" 

He ducked his head sheepishly.

"Well, I was just wondering, since I only have one pair of jeans that fit, if we could go school shopping soon."

I pointed to the calendar. "See this? This is the month of July. It is sacred to me. You have two more weeks until you are allowed to ask me that question. 

"It's summer, for crying out loud. You can wear shorts. It's hot outside. Do yourself a favor. Don't wear jeans, even the pair that fits. And don't you dare ask me about shopping until THIS calendar page gets flipped to August. Understand?"

Nothing gets my hackles up faster than people who won't allow me to LIVE IN THE NOW, especially when that now is in the summer. 

My friend Kenzie, a fellow teacher from my school, who knows of my rule, asked me last week how my classroom was coming along. I just stared at her blankly.

"Isn't that your car I've seen parked at school?" 

"Shhh..." I gently reminded her, my eyes widening in disbelief. 

"So, it wasn't your car?"

"Is it August, Kenz? Have you forgotten already?"

"Must have been somebody else..."

"Must have been..."

I assure you; it was NOT my car.

So, it's August first. The "S" word moratorium is over. And look who's up at two in the morning, just like clock work. My sleeping patterns worsen as summer vacation winds to a close. There's so much to think about, especially for me, who has been avoiding all thinking and talking about school for as long as possible.  I have tried very hard to live in the moment of summer, knowing my brief retirement is coming to an end. 

Now that July is over, I will begin to fill in my lesson plan book. Now, I will start labeling things for my students. Now, I will arrange the furniture in my room, and sort my meager teaching supplies since I gave all of my things when I retired over a year ago. Now, I will begin in earnest to make sure my little second graders have a great school year.

If you see me now, you can ask me about school, and I promise I won't bite your head off. Good luck finding me these first few days though. I have a road trip to Denver with my son planned. 

On this first day of August, I am meeting a friend for breakfast as we make our way through Colorado. There's a daughter to visit; a granddog to see; a massage scheduled; some laughing and talking to do; shopping to be done; good food to be eaten. I'm going to linger a little longer in this delightful season, my favorite "S" word of all...SUMMER.

Measuring Time in Sleeps

Does anyone else measure time in "sleeps," or is it just our family? I think this particular tradition started with my brother Eric's kids, Rowan and Tatiana; I don't remember which one.

Today, we have one more sleep until Bridger and I will be with Sierra. Since she moved away from home, we cherish these visits. It's been a couple of months since we've been together; it seems so much longer than that.

My Colorado Kids

Tomorrow morning, early, Bridger and I will trudge out to the Sonata, and head east to Colorado. This has become an annual road trip for the Shrink/Boo duo. I look forward to these vacations, knowing I have my boy all to myself during the eight hour trip there and back, and then we will spend the weekend with the Colorado kids. 

My mother's heart is amazed that the baby boy of our family is old enough to share in the driving. Bridger is a great kid; he's smart, he's conscientious, and he's so funny. Road trips with my kids are some of my favorite memories. We're going to soak up what's left of this summer this next little while...today we're tubing down the river, tomorrow we're driving to Denver, and then hopefully we'll enjoy the Rocky Mountains, hiking, eating out, and spending time together.

One more sleep until I see my Baby Girl. And then in just more sleeps, it will be over before I'm ready to leave her. One day at a time. One sleep at a time. I need to enjoy each and every moment as it comes. 

One more sleep, Sierra. If I can even sleep tonight! See you soon, Sweetie.

Teaching Conflict: The Plot Thickens

Teaching writing to fifth graders is like pushing a rope some days. They're not much different than the first graders I taught for seven years, but at least they have enough stamina to get past the first three sentences. Their small-motor development, and their experience with basic penmanship move them further along, to a point. It's the questions and comments that follow the assignments that would wear me down.

"How long does this have to be?"

"How many sentences is enough?"

"I'm done." 

(Wait. We just started. You probably don't even have your name on your paper. Oy vey.)

It was exasperating, at best, to encourage them to write a story with characters, setting, conflict, plot, AND resolution; this wasn't a multiple choice situation where they could pick one. 

Most kids grasp that a good story has to have all of the basic elements. Once they understand that scrawling THE END at the bottom of the paper when they tire of writing does not a good resolution make, they just need to appreciate the necessity of conflict. Without conflict, there is no story.

So many kids want to tell a "good story" without any conflict, and one that has a tidy ending. I blame the fairy tales with the "happily ever after" endings. Thankfully, even the tales with the gift-wrapped endings have plenty of conflict: a curse, a witch, an evil queen, a lack of suitors, quarreling dwarves. It's easy to have a quick lesson with a variety of fairy tales to determine where the conflict occurs in each story, and to discover without the conflict, there's not much of a story.

It occurred to me that my students needed to make a connection between good books and good writing. Every time we finished a read-aloud, we would talk about the conflicts the characters faced, and how their struggles made the story better.

"Wait. So you're saying the bad stuff makes it good?"

Oh, I do love it when the lights go on in their little heads.

Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech is my all-time favorite read-aloud book for fifth graders. It is FULL of conflict. Man vs. man. Man vs. nature. Man vs. self. It has it all.

The main characters are fraternal twins, Dallas and Florida, who were abandoned by their mother when they were infants. They live at the Boxton Creek Home for Orphans which is run by a crotchety couple with no love for the "trouble twins." 

The flashbacks of their early childhood reveal one dreadful experience after another with potential adoptive families, and their day-to-day existence is one eternal conflict with the Trepids. 

Their luck seems to change when they meet Tiller and Sairy, an older couple whose own children have grown, who invite the children to come with them on an adventure. Conflicts renew aplenty once the children arrive in Ruby Holler, but a flicker of hope for a better life is kept alive as the old couple open their hearts and home to the twins.

If your intermediate students are struggling with the concept of conflict in their writing, I suggest you try Sharon Creech's Ruby Holler. It has all of the elements of great literature, and will not disappoint in the conflict department!

_______________

Hey, Teachers! Here are other ideas you may find interesting...

The Morning Meeting, or...The Secret of the Best School Year EVER. How we not only survived 34 children in the inclusive class with three special needs students, but thrived.

Looking for a fun and inexpensive incentive for your class? Try the BLACKOUT READATHON. Details in the link.

Be Open to the Abundance of the Universe

Do you believe you are deserving of the blessings you seek? I'm not so sure I always thought that way, but after a lot of study and reflection, I think that if we exercised a little more faith, we would discover more blessings than we ever dreamed possible.

I've read several books about abundance. (The Secret and The Law of Attraction are a couple.) There are scriptural references in the New Testament that remind us that there are blessings available to us, if we desire them.

"Ask, and ye shall receive. 

Seek, and ye shall find."

One day in May, as I was on an early morning walk, I was contemplating my financial situation. I knew that I needed to find a way to secure medical benefits for my son and me. I knew better than to limit my request by attaching any expectations to my request. Sometimes when we try to figure everything out on our own, we eliminate some possible solutions that may serve us better.

During my walking meditation, I simply recognized the abundance available to us all, knowing the universe has enough and to spare. I did not ask for a knight in shining armor to rescue us. I did not ask for a specific insurance plan to be made affordable to me. I just released my expectations, and told God I knew that there was a way for me to provide for us, and I hoped that I would discover the best way to do that. Yes, for once, I had faith that everything would work out. 

And do you know what happened? Before I even had a chance to investigate further, within the next two days, I had three leads for jobs, two of them with full benefits. I didn't have to ask if I should interview for the jobs, or if I should wait for something better. Synchronicity was my greatest blessing that week. I asked; I received. I sought; I found. 

Not for one minute did I wonder what I should do. When we ask, and we are given that kind of feedback, there is only one thing to do. I expressed my gratitude for the opportunities, and after a few phone calls, and a job interview, I had myself a job with health insurance coverage. 

I wasn't asking to win the lottery, or for anything extraordinary. I was just looking for a way to provide a more stable life for the two of us. My answer didn't come as a fanciful solution; my blessing showed up disguised as work, but I'm so grateful that I asked, and that I received. There is abundance available to us all; we just have to look for it, and be willing to receive it.