When You Feel Sad: Life Lessons from a Kindergartner

My heart sank on Monday when Violet's mom told me she wouldn't be able to come for her visit. I'd been having a tough week emotionally and spiritually, and was looking forward to our time together. It's hard to feel sad in the presence of a five-year-old, especially Miss V. I was consoled by the fact that she would be coming the next day.

As Violet kicked off her shoes by the front door, and hung her backpack up on the banister, she began to tell me about her day. We sat down at the kitchen table, and quietly ate the ice cream her mom had sent with her. I was impressed with her new vocabulary words she was learning in math; sphere, cone, and cylinder, and she told me a square is a special rectangle. Violet said one of the boys in her class had cried, and one of the girls told her she wouldn't invite her to her party. I heard all about the kindergarten elections (Duck beat Farmer Brown, in case you're interested), and tried my best to answer her questions about the Presidential election. I'm not sure I helped; I may have been as confused as she was. It had been a day of ups and downs for my young friend. 

As it turns out, I wasn't the only one having a bad week. Violet was so sad and scared after school yesterday that she had cried on her bus ride home. She had talked to her mom about it, and then she shared it with me. 

Violet focused on getting her vanilla ice cream onto her spoon, while I tried to assure her that she was safe because her mom and dad will always be there to protect her and love her. When she told me she usually keeps her sad things to herself, I reminded her that it's okay to feel sad, and it's always good to talk to someone about it. Violet nodded, her big brown eyes looking at me through those long eyelashes. She was so quiet, and much more subdued. It seemed she was carrying quite a burden. 

Adults are not the only ones experiencing worry or anxiety this week. I could relate to my young friend's feelings. 

Miss Violet seemed to have matured so much since I last saw her. We usually take lots of silly selfies, and she almost always loves to show me her gymnastics tricks in the living room, but not this time. This visit was different. I just followed her lead, and let her decide what we should do.

Guess how we passed the afternoon. We simply spent time together. We ate ice cream. Some of the time we talked, and some of the time we didn't say a word. Silence is okay when you're with friends who understand what you're not saying, too. We went outside for some fresh air at the park. We decorated the Christmas tree, and we colored in a coloring book together on the living room floor. 

We did nothing fancy or elaborate, we just spent time together. There is a comfort to be found in our friends, whether young or old. 

If, like Violet and me, you are struggling to get on top of emotions this week, here are some things you might want to try. I think Violet had some good ideas for dealing with the sads.

When You Feel Sad

1. Cry, if you feel like it.

2. Talk to your mom.

3. Spend time with a friend.

4. Learn something new. (Kindergartners learn something new every single day. I was impressed with her sign language, reading, writing, and math vocabulary.)

5. Eat some ice cream. (Or the comfort food of your choice.)

6. Go outdoors for some exercise and fresh air.

7. Do something that makes you feel happy.

8. Entertain yourself with something that doesn't require your brain to work too hard.

When it was time for Violet to go, I realized I felt so much better. We had done things together that made me feel calm and relaxed. Miss V had helped me forget some of my worries, if only for a little while.

Maybe you have more suggestions for kids and grown-ups to try when we are feeling sad. Violet and I would be happy to hear from you, if you do.