Finding Ourselves in the Empty Nest

I think for awhile, I was feeling a little lost. When considering the future of an empty nest, I thought I was going to be a misplaced mother, with no one to parent when all of the baby birds learned to fly, but I can see now that I was mistaken. I will still be their mama, and they will always be my babies, but instead of managing and overseeing the lives of my children, I will enjoy them as equals and friends. 

When the kids were little, my world revolved around them. As a teacher, I lived for weekends and summer vacation to spend more time together. As they got older, first Dylan, and then, Sierra, left home to try out their wings. I have always been so proud of them, and I missed having them at home. Bridger is ten years younger than his brother, and eight years younger than his sister. I could see the writing on the wall; my days as a mama bird with chicks in the nest were numbered. And now, in the blink of an eye, it seems, it is Bridger's turn to spread his wings, and fly away.

It is easy to think that all is lost as this last child leaves home, and yet, I'm finding there is much more that has been found. 

What is lost? The things that I miss are the giggles and laughter that rang throughout the house; the long nights, rocking my babies until they finally fell asleep; knowing every detail of the kids' days; hearing the blow-by-blow descriptions of their favorite movies, video games, or something that happened at school; the crazy, hectic schedules of practices, games, and concerts. My identity as a mom may not be considered lost, but it has changed so much. 

What I have found is so much more: the easy conversations with amazing adults who make me think and laugh; falling asleep easily, knowing our kids are strong, independent, healthy, and happy; getting updates about their adventures, successes, and dreams; opportunities for family gatherings for special events and holidays. One of the more important things I have discovered is my identity is no longer dependent on any outside circumstance or person.

I'm learning there is more than one way to interpret the phrase finding ourselves in the empty nest. It is so much more than the moment we realize all of the kids are gone. At that point, it is critical to remember who we are, and the goals we have, and to spread our own wings. I have the support of an amazing husband, who reminds me daily of my worth, just as I am. He has told me so many times that I am more than enough, I can actually believe it. 

Luckily, the same wings that allow the children to fly away, are the ones that they use to fly back to the nest. Tonight, all three of my kids will return home. I'm looking forward to our time together as we celebrate Bridger's graduation this weekend. 

The nest isn't really empty, after all: Chuck and I are still here. We will be busy feathering our nest, and spreading our wings very soon. I'm so grateful we get to share our nest with six of the greatest people we know, whenever they fly back to visit.