Thanksmas, THE Most Wonderful Time of the Year

There seems to be so much hoopla surrounding the holidays. Some of us can't start early enough, and some of us freak out when the retailers jump the gun three months before any given holiday hits. I, for one, believe in celebrating everything as long as possible.  

You want to listen to Christmas carols in July? Wonderful. You enjoy partying it up by noting all of the holidays in December, including Kwanzaa and Hanukkah? You overachiever, you! You like to say Happy Holidays to be inclusive? Bless your heart. You don't want to take down your Christmas tree until Easter? My hat's off to you!  

I say we don't celebrate enough. To wait until Christmas Eve, for me, would be a tragedy. It just so happens that our family's holiday traditions started evolving about 22 years ago, when Sierra was about two, and Dylan about four. 

My mom lived back east near five of my siblings. Her other three kids lived out west. To divide herself between her two camps of kids, she started celebrating Thanksgiving here with us, and Christmas there with them. And someone got the bright idea to go ahead and celebrate Christmas a little early with Mom the week she came to visit. Thus, Thanksmas was born. Thanksgiving dinner segued into Christmas tree decorating and a family gift exchange.

Sierra started to help with dinner with her green bean
casserole.

We take turns hosting the event between our homes in Utah and Idaho. The host family provides the turkey, and the rest of us have standard assignments. My brother Eric makes the best HOLIDAY STUFFING ever, Mom makes the rolls and a pie or two, Joelle, our Idaho girl, makes the creamiest mashed potatoes, I make the pies, and the last few years, my Sierra has made the green bean casserole.  

So many people seem to get worked up about taking each holiday as it comes, making certain that Halloween ends before putting up anything Thanksgiving-related, and NEVER mixing in Christmas decor until the Turkey Day festivities have been cleared away. Not us. We go full bore on Christmas during the month of November in preparation for our family's Thanksmas celebration.

I like to have my tree up before everyone arrives.  Some of us let the kiddos decorate our trees after

Dylan ALWAYS helps the littles
decorate the tree. He is Mr. Tradition
in our family.

dinner while the kitchen is being restored to order. All of the gifts are put under the tree. After we all gather in the living room, we each take turns telling what we're thankful for, going in order from youngest to oldest.  

It's kind of cheesy, and sort of predictable, but it helps us focus for a moment on something other than the gifts. It's a nice transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Then the passing out of the presents begins, and there is a frenzy of paper tearing and bow throwing, "thank yous," and "I love its."

My kids have always looked forward to Thanksmas more than Christmas because that is our big holiday celebration with my family. It is the only holiday out of the whole year that we celebrate with my side of the family. Holidays are about family time after all, and it is so wonderful to have everyone gathered together under one roof for that very special time. Christmas has always been low-key around here. Thanksmas is the big deal for my kids.

My children are the oldest of the cousins out west, and so our family is feeling the subtle, and not-so-subtle changes in our holiday celebrations first. 

Last year, our Sierra was living in Colorado, and could only come home for one holiday, so we thankfully saw her over Christmas. This year, Dylan and Jamie will be taking a Thanksgiving holiday with the Hansens, which is only fair. Again, Sierra has asked to be excused this Thanksmas, saying she will celebrate with us in the new year, when air travel is less expensive, and they can arrange time off of work. I have adult children now, with significant others to consider. We may see our holidays evolve further once grandchildren enter the picture, and we juggle schedules to meet the desires of in-laws.  

Over the years we have seen our celebration include newcomers, and we've had some sad goodbyes. My mom has been widowed twice since we started celebrating Christmas in November over two decades ago. As babies joined the family, our numbers grew. My big kids have brought their boyfriends or girlfriends.  As my nieces from Virginia have moved out west to go to college, they have attended if they didn't have other plans. All are welcome.

Flexibility is the name of the game when it comes to family and holidays. That's how we ended up with Thanksmas. I have the fondest memories of those gatherings. Combining our holidays of Thanksgiving with Christmas gives us the best of both worlds. I have a feeling we'll be seeing new traditions develop, and old traditions will be tweaked to accommodate our ever-changing family.

These pictures are in no particular order, and may or may not include everyone who has attended our holiday celebration.  I just wanted to post a few of my favorites that show the camaraderie of the cousins, the silliness, and the warm family feelings. Thanksmas is truly my most favorite holiday of all.

Shrink and her boys.  Both of my boys call me Shrink. 

Those smiles light up the room.

Our family smile; must be genetic.  The sense of humor sure is!

Rudolph noses...Bubba teef...there's always room for silliness.

One of our favorite dogs, enjoying a quiet moment before the festivities begin.

I'm being nice, and not posting all of the pictures of everyone in their tryptophan-induced slumber.
Here are two of my nieces.  Everyone gets pretty cozy when all of us gather.

There's always laughter.  Lots of laughter.

Rowan is too big for my brother Eric's lap, and will soon be driving a car. 

Kalvin is a big boy now.

The girlies are always sharing chairs.

We encourage outside play for the littles to help with the agony of waiting to open presents.

Many hands make light work. Cris and Sisi are keeping an eye on things.

This little family travels 7 hours to join us in Utah from Idaho!

So grateful these days for any celebration that includes this big guy, my oldest.

Laughter is good.

These two are always up to silliness.

My mom is always good to involve the youngsters.

My sister and niece.

The Long Goodbye

Grandma Engelhard started it.  My mom did it.  My sister and I do it.  My kids have started to do it.  This wonderful "it" is the long goodbye.

To execute the long goodbye, you need to stand at your door, or it is fine to follow your company to the car, as your visiting family is getting ready to leave.  You begin waving as soon as everyone is in the car, and you don't stop until they are out of the driveway, and completely and totally out of sight.  The people in the vehicle wave until they can no longer see you.  You may take this to extremes, if you so desire. My daughter does.  Especially for her brother.

Sierra waves goodbye alongside the moving vehicle for as long as she can keep pace.  She waves and runs until she is left behind, panting for breath.  I think she does this to try to make up for the time I blew it.

One time I messed up.  I messed up big time.  My oldest son Dylan has always been a stickler about traditions.  I say "stickler" like it's a bad thing.  It's actually one of the things that make it challenging to be his mom, and it's one of the things that makes me want to hug him so hard he squirms. Dylan likes knowing that certain things are done a certain way...especially during the holidays.  I like to think I contributed to his obsessive compulsions.  I'm quite certain I get to take full credit for most of his idiosyncrasies.

We had just finished our Thanksmas celebration (I'll blog about that in another post.)  Dylan had gathered his containers of leftovers, tucked his gifts in his truck, and was saying his thank yous to everyone.  We all kissed and hugged him goodbye.  My mom, my sister, and I went out and waved, and for whatever reason...was it too cold?  Did we think he wouldn't notice?  Did we FORGET?  We all went back inside before he left.

I immediately received a text.  "You forgot to wave goodbye."  My heart sank.

"Mom!  Joelle! We didn't wave goodbye until he was gone!!!"

"Come back!" I texted.  "Give us another chance.  We'll do it right!"

"Never mind.  I'm already at Dad's."

"We'll drive down there and you can wave to us!"  Desperate, I know.

"It's okay, Shrink.  We'll do it next time."

That day haunts me still.  I hate thinking I missed an opportunity to make one of my kids know that I love them so much, I will do silly things to prove it.  Was he emotionally scarred after that? Whether he was or not, I will not let another long goodbye get away from me.

Tears were streaming down my face on this snowy winter's day when Dylan and Jamie left.  I waved and waved, wanting with all of my heart to erase the memory of the time I forgot to do it. I could see his hand and flannel sleeve waving out of the truck window until his red tail lights faded around the bend.  He forgives me.  He loves me.

The long goodbye; even when my kids can no longer see me, they know I am there for them, waiting for their return.