My Drinking Problem

Saturday, I am embarrassed to say, I found myself stumbling around the Bristol Renaissance faire, feeling woozy, and not at all like myself. I had a serious drinking problem that day, but not the kind you usually associate with the revelry of Ren faires. 

There was a very important lesson I thought I already knew, that I had forgotten to remember: On summer days, even the pleasant, un-hot, un-humid ones, it is imperative to drink plenty of fluids. 

Chug! Chug! Chug!

"REMEMBER TO HYDRATE ON SUMMER DAYS, 
EVEN THE PLEASANT ONES."

Every cast member and every season pass holder at the Bristol Renaissance Faire knows this rule. Nearly every "regular" has a wooden or pewter stein strapped to their belts when they are not using them, so they are always ready to grab some water or lemonade. 

Yes, I had a serious drinking problem on Saturday; I did not drink enough H2O, and dehydration sucked all the fun out of my day. Somehow I forgot to drink water until it was too late, and by then, I didn't even care, which was not a good sign.

Saturday was one of the most lovely days, weather-wise. Cooler temps, and delightfully low humidity. Chuck and I arrived just after the gates opened, and I realized I had a headache moving in pretty quickly. We snapped a few photos of the Bristol Buskin Frolic around the maypole, and then we made a beeline for the nearest vendor with Diet Pepsi. 

I jokingly held my Diet Pepsi aloft, and told Chuck, "Nothing says Ren Faire like a Diet Pepsi in a plastic bottle."

Chuck followed up with, "Nothing seems to get rid of my wife's headache like a Diet Pepsi, though." It's true. It's my drug of choice when a headache strikes. 

To my lovely friends who have warned me against the evils of aspartame and diet sodas, I KNOW. I have been trying to give up all things "diet." Anything with artificial sweeteners has been verboten. But I had a terrible headache, and nothing seems to cure it faster than some Tylenol and liquid caffeine. (And it tastes so good. Shhh. I know; I know.) My dear sister-friends who treat me like they are overbearing mamas when I imbibe in my favorite naughty nectar remind me constantly of the dangers of diet soda. (I love you, Susan and Sharen.)

Notice the Renaissance-style "Big Gulp."

The morning's Diet Pepsi gave me a false sense of hydration. Now in my mind, I know caffeinated drinks are diuretics. They tend to DEhydrate, not REhydrate. So from 10 ish to noonish, I only drank that one soda. Usually we drink lots of water, every time we pass by the fountains. Unfortunately, my headache made me content to just park myself in the Guild of Saint Michael's military encampment for a couple of hours, without drinking or eating. By the time the parade was ready to start after noon, I knew I was in trouble, and for the rest of the day, I never felt like myself.

Fetching pails of water, ren faire-style.

When my husband asked me questions, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I knew my thoughts were confused, and my speech delayed. Chuck realized I needed to drink and eat, and encouraged me to get moving toward food and water. As we walked up the hill toward the eating establishments, I began to cry. I felt so childish, but I was so miserable, I couldn't stop the tears. 

Now I cry during sad movies, and when my friends are suffering, and when my children are unhappy, but I don't generally cry because I am uncomfortable or in pain. Chuck was worried. He asked if he should ask security to take me out in a golf cart. I was mortified. NO! How embarrassing. I knew I wasn't feeling well, but I can be stubborn. 

After guzzling water from the nearest fountain, I sat in the shade on a bench while Chuck got me a bottle of water. On our way to find food, we ran into friends. I wanted to talk. I wanted to take pictures. Instead I gave a little hug, took a quick pic, and mumbled about needing to go, and stumbled along behind Chuck who was quite concerned about taking care of me. Again, he had me sit in the shade, and he found me some protein in the form of a bratwurst. I ate it, and started to feel a little better. 

It wasn't long, though, before I started feeling light-headed again. What the heck? Chuck had me drink another bottle of water, and we sat in our air-conditioned car in the parking lot for awhile. 

Even "Big" guys need to drink.

Dehydration is more serious than I realized. It's so much more than being thirsty. It affects our energy and our thinking. 

Dehydration is serious business.

Since my recent first-hand experience, many faire friends have offered survival tips to PREVENT it and MANAGE it. Prevention would have been best, but I have been told, there is no shame in asking for help from the first aid and security personnel; that's why they are there, after all. 

Even cast members deal with the effects of dehydration. I am grateful for their insights and advice.

Here are my friends' tips. (Disclaimer: none of these faire folk are medical professionals, just people who deal with extreme heat and humidity while wearing costumes that weigh as much as a young child.)

1. Drink lots of water. Not soda. Not alcohol. WATER.

2. Eat pickles. There are pickle vendors strategically placed around the faire. Many even recommend drinking the pickle juice.

3. Drink V-8 juice. (A dear friend says, "If V-8 tastes good, you need it." She managed to drink THREE servings without shuddering from the taste when she was suffering from dehydration.)

4. Seek first aid. The staff are prepared to drive patrons and cast members to the first aid station where Gatorade, air-conditioning, and a place to lie down are offered.

Live and learn. I was told by a ren faire veteran that now that I've suffered the ill effects of not being hydrated, I may be more susceptible to it. Knowing that, I will be hyper-vigilant. I really don't want to miss out on any more faire experiences. 

Remember, we need to hydrate with plenty of water throughout the day. No more drinking problems for me. From now on, my biggest problem will be finding privies throughout the day, if you know what I mean. We need to drink up so we can completely enjoy a full day at the Bristol Renaissance Faire!