Let Me Hear My Body Talk

Forgive me, Olivia Newton-John, but your song "Physical" came to mind as I considered the concept of INTUITIVE EATING. I'm showing my age here by referencing a pop song from the early eighties, but some of you will get it. 

Lately, it is like I have been bombarded with messages about intuitive eating everywhere I turn. Books, articles, and meditations, are all leading me to a new understanding of my relationship with food. Chuck has listened to me sort my thoughts, and has encouraged me to find a healthy lifestyle that works for me. This is synchronicity at its finest. 

Last week, I invited my mom over for lunch after we had gone shopping in Richfield. We had fresh salads and cottage cheese. Our plates were heaping with field greens when we sat down to the table. Before I knew it, I had put my fork down, and I was done. Eating salad, as you know, can be a laborious task, taking a bit of time. But not for me. I downed it in record time.

Mom looked at my plate in shock. "Are you done already? Do you even chew your food? Did you even taste anything?"

My instincts kicked in as I went into defensive daughter mode.

"Mom, I have eaten fast all my life. You've always been a slow eater. You didn't eat fast because you were the mom saving the extra food on the table for your eight kids. I had to eat fast when I was growing up to assure I had a chance at seconds. I had to eat fast as a teacher because I only had 12 minutes to inhale my lunch so I could go out to lunch recess duty. Eating fast is what I do. And for your information, I DO chew my food." I just happen to do it really, really fast.

Since that hasty meal, I've been drawn to many articles and meditations about mindful eating. I'm not a kid fighting for extra food, and I'm no longer working as a teacher. It's like my body doesn't realize we're retired now, and I can slow down to enjoy each meal. I have time to savor life (and food) now, and I've been blowing it. 

Throughout my life, I've always thought I was too heavy. I'd love to weigh what I did in junior high and high school, when my distorted body image problems began, and I thought I was overweight. I blame those dang weigh-ins in seventh grade. I was the heaviest girl in our class, or at least in our circle of friends. No one bothered to explain to me that as one of the tallest girls in our class, I would also weigh more. I incorrectly made the assumption that I was fat. And thus, it began.

I've restricted calories, eliminated fats and carbs, eaten salads ad nauseum, tried exercising fanatically, eaten only whole, non-processed foods...and lately, it just seems to backfire. 

There is always a dark side to dieting: the deprivation, guilt, and shame always lead to my indulging in whatever it is I had been denying myself, or exercising ultra hard to make up for my overeating. I would punish myself with grueling workouts and emotional tongue-lashings.  Inevitably, I would throw in the towel, and look for another way to tame my emotional eating.

Credit: FINDCHAFFY

I get it now. The diets set me up for failure. The initial weight loss is temporarily motivational, and then the reality sets in: I just can't live a lifestyle that is, for me, a constant sense of deprivation and guilt.

It's time to dispense with dieting, and begin eating intuitively, listening to my body and its cues. SIGHS MATTER was a huge a-ha moment for me just recently. After sharing that blog post about sighs, my friend Elisabeth, a registered dietitian who specializes in eating disorders, sent me the link to her article about INTUITIVE EATING, with this comment, "Thus the journey to intuitive eating begins again." You might want to check out her link if, like me, you need some guidelines for getting started on developing a healthy relationship with your body and food.

The only way I am going to hear my body talk is if I eat mindfully, and slowly. I need to trust my body's signals so I can recognize true hunger, and also a feeling of fullness and satisfaction. 

It is an exciting time for me. At the ripe old age of 55, I am finally making peace with myself. No more declaring war on this body that has served me so well. I'm listening to hear what it has to say. I'm all ears right now...