Happy Christmas Adam!

Merry Christmas Adam!

Christmas Adam is the day before Christmas Eve. Get it; Adam before Eve? Your family might call it Christmas Eve-Eve, or maybe you just call it December 23rd. When my niece Erika realized we celebrated Christmas Eve the day before the 24th, she suggested we call it Christmas Adam. She is a pretty clever girl.

Over the years, my Christmas celebrations with my children shifted to accommodate time with their dad, so we had our Christmas Eve on the 23rd, and Christmas day on the 24th. Now that I'm married to Chuck, on the years that we spend November instead of December in Utah, we celebrate Thanksmas. Any time spent with the kids feels like a holiday to me. Calendar Schmalendar.

When Bristol walked in this morning, I wrapped my arms around his barrel-like torso, and wished him a Happy Christmas Adam. Then tears started streaming down my face, and into his grey velvet coat. 

The holidays are such a bittersweet time for me. I wouldn't say I've exactly burst into tears, but I have been moved to tears quite a few times this week.  Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of my dad's passing. While I cannot wait to join our extended family to celebrate Christmas here in Illinois, my heart still aches to see my children in Utah. 

One happy mama. Photo credit: Chuck Bennorth

Last Christmas was so extra special. Chuck and I flew to Utah to spend the holidays with my kids. We spent time with my mom and her husband. We even had a white Christmas, and went sledding near the hot springs. We took lots of photos. And for Christmas, we gave each of the kids money toward a flight to Chicago to come see us in January. I have to say that was one of the very best Christmases of my life. 

January 2017. A day in Chicago with the family.

This will be our fifth Christmas without Daddy. There are so many sweet memories of him that flood my mind this time of year.  Our Christmas day phone calls. His gingerbread cookies and German Stöllen. The smell of Old Spice. That hearty laugh. His big bear hugs. His old jokes he never tired of telling time and time again. Watching his favorite Pink Panther clips with him. Oh, I miss him so much.

One thing I know Daddy would tell me is, "Don't be sad, Princess." I just can't help but miss him. Especially this time of year. So the tears fall, but there are smiles, too.  

To honor Dad's memory, I will try to focus on the joys of the season. Time with family. Phone calls and Skype time with my kids. Seeing our Bennorth boys, their wives, and our sweet grandson. Driving to look at the lights. Wrapping gifts. Baking cinnamon rolls and cookies. Sitting in front of the fire. Enjoying holiday meals with friends and family. Playing games at the kitchen table. Taking Chuck's mom to her church's Christmas Eve service. Recalling Christmases past. 

So blessed to have so many wonderful people in our family.

Happy Christmas Adam, friends; wherever you are, whatever you celebrate, I hope you find moments of peace and contentment. There is so much good in this world; we just have to look for it. I know I'm not the only one missing a loved one this year; may we all be blessed with comfort and joy.