Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Grey Skies and Blue Feelings

First of all, let me preface all that I am about to say with an expression of gratitude for the blue skies of Saturday. They were most welcome after a seemingly endless stretch of grey days. Feeling the sun on my face was such a blessing.

They say the universe gives us more of what we notice. Are you listening, universe? I not only noticed, but expressed thanks for the sunny day. I'm looking forward to more, and any time would be good, but sooner would be better than later. 


Not sure the universe and I are on speaking terms at the moment.

I'm a little worried about drawing attention to our current weather for fear the universe will just continue to deliver what I'm noticing. It's hard to ignore so many cloudy days. Grey, dreary, cloudy days that lower my resistance to prolonged moments of melancholy.

Grey skies, nothin' but grey skies... It is starting to get old. One sunny Saturday isn't quite enough to get us through January, if the clouds aren't going to cooperate, and at least deliver some snow. It is winter, after all; not that we can tell from the temps hovering in the 40s-50s here in the Midwest. Yeah, I'm a little irritated by the lack of snow, too.  

My mood is temporary, just like the weather, but sometimes it's a challenge to sit with situations or feelings that are uncomfortable. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is something that many of us deal with this time of year, and I suspect that is the root of my unexplained lethargy and mid-winter blues.

In my yoga practice yesterday, we focused on stillness. Breathing through positions that challenge us, trusting that the instructor won't have us hold a pose for longer than is humanly possible. Being still, and just noticing our breath when we want to quit, or at least change positions, is difficult. 

When my legs were shaking from exertion, I just kept breathing. When my arms began to feel they were weighed down with lead, I tried to focus on my breath. I'm proud I stuck it out. It was uncomfortable, but do-able. 

So here I am, just trying to bring my mood up to something socially acceptable. For me, it seems to help when I move more, so I got myself on the mat, and practiced yoga. I pushed myself out the door, and went for an early morning walk. When Bridger wakes up, he's going to teach me some more drum beats. Tonight, after Chuck gets home, we'll have a game night: ping pong for the guys, and then I'll join in for Scrabble and Boggle. 

Sometimes it may be a good idea to just sit with the uncomfortable feelings, and see what there is to be learned from them, but right now, I'm trusting my gut, and my gut says to keep breathing, keep moving forward, and make the best of each day, even if it's gloomy outside, and my mood matches the weather. It's just hard to remember that nothing lasts forever when we're in the thick of grey skies and blue feelings. We just have to keep breathing; focus on the breath.

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