The Bees’ RV: My Steel Magnolia

Everyone needs a steel magnolia friend. You may need to watch the movie Steel Magnolias to understand the depth of that sentiment, but maybe after I introduce you to my best friend since junior high, you might realize you have a steel magnolia of your own.

Lynn made me this piggy bank when we were in high school.

Lynn and I met in seventh grade. We did the typical teen girl things; passed notes in class, had sleepovers, spent time with each other's families, gossiped, and listened to music. We also did the typical rural kid things; attended 4-H meetings, rode horses in the creek and sledded in the hollow (which is pronounced /hol*ler/, by the way), and Lynn had a big sow named Priscilla that started our lifelong fascination with pigs.

When we grew up, we became elementary school teachers, wives, and mothers. Unfortunately, we were separated by the thousands of miles between Virginia and Utah, but whenever we called each other or got together, we didn't skip a beat, and just picked up our conversation where we left off.

Lynn was my matron of honor at my first wedding. She and I had our first two children in 1987 and 1989. Throughout the years, our friendship has been a steady source of support.

Our Red Hat Society day with high school friends. Lynn had a hat, too; she just hates hats, as a rule.

Back when we were in 10th grade, Lynn had such a crush on a cute boy in our class named Bennett. It made sense to me that the nicest girl I knew should be with the nicest boy I knew.

Bennett had been one of my best friends since we were in fifth grade. He was always kind to me, and since it took me a long time to fit in with the girls in our class, it was comforting to see a friendly face in fifth grade. It was easy to see Lynn and Bennett would be perfect for each other, so I played matchmaker.

Bennett and Lynn. Photo taken in June 2018

When we were at the high school Valentine Dance, I let Bennett know that Lynn liked him. And the rest, as they say, is history. They dated all the way through high school and college, and eventually married and had four children.

When I started my blog, there were only about 12 people who read Randomocity regularly, and Lynn was my very first official "follower." That meant so much to me.

Fresh faces pink from the cold; sans makeup after cycling. December 2013

My daddy died just before Christmas in 2013, and I flew back to Virginia to be with my family. Lynn invited me to go bike riding with her and her daughter a couple of days before his funeral. She knew I needed a break, and spending time outdoors with my best friend was just what I needed. It was 18 degrees the morning we cycled nine miles along the Piney River, but my heart was warmed by her thoughtfulness during that cold December day.

Priest Mountain overlooks the peach orchard.

When Lynn found out I was going home to Virginia this summer, she made sure Chuck and I would be able to spend time with Bennett and her at their farm. Lynn and Bennett are family; Chuck had to meet them, too.

The smell of fresh peaches always takes me back to Virginia, and working for Saunders Brothers.

The four of us piled into Bennett's pickup, and went for a ride through the peach orchards, and reminisced about the days when Lynn and I used to work for the Saunders Brothers in high school, thinning peaches, driving the tractor, and planting boxwood and azalea slips. As luck would have it, Bennett's folks were riding around the hills at the same time, so Chuck and I were able to say hello to them.

We showed Chuck the packing shed where I used to sell peaches for Bennett's dad back in the seventies. The four of us enjoyed lunch in their spacious kitchen. Chuck is still talking about the Virginia ham Lynn served. Luckily, I was able to find it here in Illinois when we returned.

At Daddy's funeral, with some of the amazing women who helped me through that time.

Lynn is the epitome of southern hospitality, welcoming any and all into her cozy home. She is smart, strong, and funny. Lynn wants to help others when she can, and always seems to manage to do more than is expected for others. She was an amazing teacher with a soft spot in her heart for the little ones in her classroom. Lynn has weathered the storms of life, experiencing trials and loss with a tempered optimism. Throughout the years, she has not let difficult experiences harden her. If anything, her compassion has deepened, and her love has grown.

2018. Photo credit: Chuck Bennorth; ignore the watermark. My bad!

Robert Harding, the author of Steel Magnolias, needed a title for his play when he finished writing it. Harding had this to say about that:

"When I was young, often sent to pluck a few magnolia blossoms for my mama’s floral needs, I learned that, while gorgeous, they are fragile and bruise easily—qualities often attributed to Southern women. My extraordinary life experiences with my sister and mother showed me that the women I’ve known are indeed gorgeous, but their lives can be fragile. But if you look underneath, you realize they possess a tensile strength stronger than anything I could ever muster. I wrote of their strength, joy, and laughter that rang out no matter what life threw at them. After my sister’s death, the only way I could deal with it was to celebrate them. When the play was finished, I needed a title. In my head, I heard that grand dame’s voice and the way she pronounced “steel magnolya.” It seemed right. My mother, my sister, my aunts, the neighbor ladies—I still hear their glorious voices all the time. I hope I always will."