Is my life like a play? Is there a plot riddled with conflict to keep the story line interesting? Is there a cast of characters who come and go as one scene changes to the next? And the biggest question is... Am I some diva on the stage trying to tell the director how to do his job?
I am discovering that to be truly happy, sometimes we have to let go of our attachment to a specific outcome. I thought I was so smart; I thought I knew what was best for me, but when life took some unexpected twists and turns this last year, I realized that sometimes we just have to release our expectations, and just enjoy the unexpected plot twists that come our way.
Since last winter, I had struggled with one setback after another. It seemed my life was not going according to my plan, in any way, shape, or form. I was so discouraged as I watched my life seemingly fall apart as I tried to deliver the old lines I had rehearsed, but it just wasn't working.
Once I let go of the way I thought this drama should be played out, there was room for new actors, new plot developments, new scenes, and frankly, I never could have predicted how delightful those changes would be.
If you would have told me that this summer I would meet some of the most extraordinary people of my life...that I was going to come out of retirement to teach second graders...that I would be happily dating and having wonderful adventures with my "girls" and my kids, I probably would have scoffed at you. My life went from melodrama to comedy when I released my expectations, and I decided to accept this new way of normal.
Living in the now, perfecting my improv skills, has allowed so much more happiness into my life. If all the world's a stage, I would like to thank those of you who have been the best supporting actors and actresses I could have asked for in this epic adventure of life.
The show must go on...and while I know the part I play is a small one on the Broadway stage of life, in my particular scenes, I will play my part wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm. It's time for me to scrap the script. I've been ad-libbing for months now, and I have to say, I'm happier and have more peace in my life without that old script to which I was clinging. One of the biggest changes I've had to make is relinquishing my perceived role as director. I am not in charge at all; I see that now. I am part of something so much bigger than myself, and I'm as excited as any audience member to see how this thing's going to end.