O Is for Optimism

The Dalai Lama has a keen sense of humor. He says, 

"Choose to be optimistic. It feels better." 

When we have a choice, who wouldn't want to feel better?

Half full? Half empty? As you can see from this graphic, a glass of water is always full, if we consider water AND air. I admit I have optimistic tendencies; I'm in the camp that thinks there is something good to be found in every day, even if every day may not feel good. 

"It's not always easy to feel grateful. Sometimes we could give in and let pain dominate our day, or we could succumb to a lingering mood. There will always be challenges and setbacks, but if we allow ourselves to settle in to the moment, we might discover the hidden gifts waiting to be found."  

(If you are interested in reading further, you can read more of "The Glad Game".)

Here's to finding something good in this day. I hope you find many things that inspire you, and make you feel, if not happier, at least, hopeful. 

Reflections on Nourishment

At the end of my blog post N Is for Nourish, I said I would grab a cup of coffee while we think about our answers to some thought-provoking questions and open-ended statements about nourishment. Well, I wasn't kidding. I'm doing just that.

This was the question posed by Rachel from Healthy Chicks, in her article, "What Nourishes Your Mind, Body, & Soul?" 

What makes me feel nourished?

Rachel then suggested that we take things further by writing our answers to the following:

These are the foods that nourish my body…

These are the activities that nourish my soul…

These are the thoughts that nourish my mind…

For me, nourishment is not just nutrition. I want the full experience when it comes to feeding my body, soul, and mind. I want nutrition; what's good for me; sure, but I also want flavor, variety, and occasional indulgences.

That being said, here is what I have come up with:

These are the foods that nourish my body…

fresh vegetables, fruit, and protein. I love roasted vegetables (green beans, cauliflower, brussels sprouts) and salads, fresh fruit (mangoes, strawberries, tangerines, and apples), and juicy meats, protein shakes, and cottage cheese. I won't feel deprived if I indulge in some salted caramel ice cream, and a chocolate chip cookie every now and again. 

These are the activities that nourish my soul…

praying, reading, writing, photography, hiking, nature, and spending time with my family and friends. Solitary activities like praying, reading, and writing insure that I spend some quiet time reflecting. Being outdoors, and spending time with Chuck and the kids or a good friend revitalize me.

These are the thoughts that nourish my mind…

I have enough; I am enough. 

In this moment; right here, right now; I am okay, and there is something to be grateful for. Find it. 

I don't have to do anything to prove my worth; it is enough to be myself. 

Setting an intention for the day gives my life purpose, and helps me make the most of my time.

So, my coffee has cooled, and the sun is coming up. I'm glad I took the time to think about these things. What about you? Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share on what nourishes you?  

Wanderlust

Wandering is something I love to do. Whether it's inside the house, through a store, around the neighborhood, down a canyon, or across the desert, I like to wander. My boys share my love of wandering. (Just don't ask Dylan to wander through any stores. He does all of his shopping online to avoid crowds and lines.)

Wanderlust is what my boys and I have. A strong longing or impulse for wandering. When the three of us get to spend a Saturday together, we usually fill our Camelbaks with water, lace up our hiking shoes, and head for the desert. At the end of March 2015, we found ourselves wandering near the Shivwits Indian reservation outside of Saint George, Utah.

Dylan, Bridger, and I rested in the shade of a juniper tree while hiking above a dry stream. We had a general idea where we were going, but not a specific one. Dylan, the Mr. Preparedness of our group, pulled up the GPS on his phone to get a better idea of where we were. There was no real trail, but there was a dry river bed, and since we were looking for a slot canyon, we figured we were on the right track. Dylan shoved his phone back in his pocket, and we headed downstream.

Bridger, ten years younger than Dylan, scrambled up and down rocks, scouting ahead, and coming back to report his findings. He's like a mountain goat on energy drinks. I figure if I walked five miles that day, he did at least seven. 

It was a gorgeous spring day, early enough in the season that we were kept comfortable from any extremes in temperature, and the slight breeze was welcome. We hiked up and down hills, avoiding the steep rock drop offs, and simply enjoyed exploring this part of the desert.

On this particular day, I was trying to dredge up cobwebbed memories of where the slot canyon was near Gunlock Reservoir. My general memory was clear: the canyon was in the vicinity of the Shivwits reservation; the specifics were clouded. 

As we trudged up a very steep incline, Dylan said he was pretty certain I hadn't gone this way when I hiked with the guide from the Fat Farm, a very unflattering term he uses for where I spent a week trying to get in better shape.

"Hey! It was Fitness Ridge, not the Fat Farm, and we hiked hard on those hikes."

"Well, down here, we call it the Fat Farm, and I assure you, the trail guides wouldn't have taken you guys up here." He flashed me his trademark grin. 

Nice. Really nice. I'm the Rodney Dangerfield in my family. I get no respect, I tell ya, and I put up with an awful lot of teasing.

Eventually the river bed ran into a slot canyon. Eureka! Well, sort of. This particular part of the hike was totally unfamiliar to me, but we didn't mind. We just like hiking the slots.

As usual, the boys hiked ahead while I hung back taking pictures. The beauty of the desert is such a lovely distraction. Everything catches my eye on the desert; the clear blue of the sky, prickly pear cactus, lizards, toads, and the rugged red rocks. Sometimes I get lost in my own reveries, to my own detriment.



Lost in thought, I was wandering between the two rock walls when the boys startled me with screams from a ledge above my head. They have great fun, these two, scaring the wits out of me. No respect at all. Sheesh.

Soooo funny. 

I love the way my sons investigate every little thing in nature. Both of them notice small tracks and animal homes. They are like a desert version of CSI, although there are no crimes being committed, unless making your own mother nearly wet her pants is a criminal offense. I should look into that.

Dylan found what he thought to be an owl pellet. All three of us had dissected owl pellets before; we have a strange fascination with this sort of thing, curious about what we'd find within the pellet. 

As Dylan broke it apart with his fingers, he discovered it was not something left behind by an owl, but was actually the dehydrated droppings of a large domestic animal. 

"Our own little CSI; that's what you are," I teased him. We discussed possible variations of the acronym... Cow Scene Investigator was one; there were others. Feel free to pick your own words that begin with S; we did. 

That afternoon as we headed to the truck, we all agreed that we prefer our wandering around the desert to hiking single file down a trail any day. As Tolkien reminds us, "Not all those who wander are lost." 

Most of us are just having fun.

The Wanderers

Dylan called this a desert rose. So beautiful.

N Is for Nourish

Nourishment is not just about food. Nutrition is important, and I am trying to unlearn decades of faulty thinking regarding hunger, food, and self-acceptance, but to nourish our whole selves, we don't want to neglect our mind or our soul.

Today, I am looking to some of the experts for advice in these areas, as I am far from being one of those, and have much to learn. I felt inspired by the quotes, and I look forward to trying the exercise posted below. I hope you can find some inspiration here, too.

"True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."

- William Penn

“Everything one reads is nourishment of some sort - good food or junk food - and one assumes it all goes in and has its way with your brain cells.”-Lorrie Moore

“How would your life be different if...You were conscious about the food you ate, the people you surround yourself with, and the media you watch, listen to, or read? Let today be the day...You pay attention to what you feed your mind, your body, and your life. Create a nourishing environment conducive to your growth and well-being today.” ― Steve Maraboli, The Power of One 

“I think preparing food and feeding people brings nourishment not only to our bodies but to our spirits. Feeding people is a way of loving them, in the same way that feeding ourselves is a way of honoring our own createdness and fragility.”
― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

Finally, I would like to close with this piece I found on the Healthy Chicks blog. Rachel asks some good questions that will get me closer to my goal of intentional living.

What Nourishes Your Mind, Body, & Soul?

By Rachel Kaczynski

So often, we eat what we’re told are the “right” foods to eat, do what we believe we “have” to do, and think the way we’re expected to think. I challenge you to stop right there and look beyond the expectations and rules we have for ourselves.

Truly look within and ask yourself point blank: What makes me feel nourished?

Then take things a step further by writing it out:

These are the foods that nourish my body…These are the activities that nourish my soul…These are the thoughts that nourish my mind…

What came up for you? I encourage you to take a good, hard look at your list and fill yourself up with those things that nourish you most.

Here’s a hint: when we fill our life up with nourishment, we no longer need to use food/drugs/self sabotage/fill in the blank to “feel better.” ...

My top nourishments from each category are leafy greens, yoga, and the positive affirmation “I am enough.”

What we eat, what we do, and what we think...that about covers it all. I like Rachel's list, but I want to explore my thoughts and come up with answers that work for me. What would you list as YOUR nourishments? 

I'll go grab a cup of coffee while we think about this. 

If you would like to share, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. 

M Is for Meditate

M is for meditation...something I wish I were better at, and something I think is worth pursuing, even though, basically, it's a struggle. Meditation sometimes feels like an unattainable goal for me, but I try to keep judgment at bay, and count my successes when I can, even if some days the only meditationish thing I did was wear my yoga pants. 

On the days that I take the time to meditate, I feel more relaxed, and focused. Meditation takes on a variety of forms, depending on when I wake up, where I am, and who is with me. 

Meditation is an opportunity for me to try to clear my mind and relax. Notice I said TRY. Sometimes I have fallen asleep while meditating; I think we can agree that's pretty relaxed. (Don't judge.) I like to sit in my recliner, or lie in bed. I don't worry if thoughts creep in while I'm meditating, which is good because they often do. I realize the whole point is to clear our minds, but I'm just grateful if I can reduce the bazillion thoughts battling in my brain for attention to a more manageable number.

I'll tell you what meditation is NOT for me. It is not a pursuit for perfection. I don't use a yoga mat. I don't sit cross-legged on the floor, or upright in a chair. I don't hold my middle finger to my thumb, rest my elbows on my knees, and say, "OM..." 

One thing I'm pretty proud of, that I'm pretty consistent with, is I DO wear yoga pants when I meditate, but then, I always wear yoga pants. I want to be prepared in case the mood to meditate strikes, you know? (Do you have yoga pants?  They just feel good. And they are so forgiving. And they're so stretchy. You should try them.) I realize yoga pants are for yoga, but meditation is a lot like yoga, except there's no stretching and moving. 

Some days, I use a guided meditation or a visualization exercise. Sometimes I simply sit quietly in the dark after I pray, and just concentrate on my breathing, which is harder than it sounds. My brain has a hard time calming down, but I think I still benefit from these peaceful, quiet moments.

During my morning time with the Bible, I like to pray, and I struggle to prolong that time just being still and reflective. On crazy days, my meditation may take the form of a walking meditation, where I alternate between praying and observing nature while I exercise outdoors. 

Wait, do all of these count as meditation?

I'm no Deepak Chopra, but I think so. There are so many ways I may not measure up in today's world; I want my peaceful moments to be without judgment or criticism. 

The beauty of this time for reflection is it is so different from the rest of my day. It gives me a chance to slow down, and attempt to be mindful. Sometimes, if the only thing I managed to do was wear my yoga pants and take a moment to breathe, I feel pretty darn successful. Bonus points if I also NOTICED I was breathing. 

One day, I might make it a whole 30 minutes, but until then, I'll just keep enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet on my terms, in my yoga pants. Maybe I'll design my own line of stretchy pants, and call them meditation pants, so I don't feel guilty about not ever doing yoga in them.

Buddhist Boot Camp

L is for Laughter

"Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." -e.e. cummings

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” - Audrey Hepburn

Being retired has its perks, but sometimes our house just seems too still; too quiet. When that happens, I know just what to do: invite Miss V for a visit. She is one of my dearest friends; she just turned five. 

We have tea parties, bake cookies, tell secrets, read books, draw pictures, and have egg hunts. We have Miss V's imaginary friend Stacey over for tea occasionally. One of us does cartwheels and splits in the living room while the other claps her hands. We play I Spy and Simon Says.  We laugh. A lot.

I miss the days when my children were little. I also miss the children I taught at the elementary school. (Which is very different from missing going to work; I assure you.) I miss our grand baby who lives so far away.  So what's a girl to do? Borrow someone else's child! Spending time with little ones all but guarantees laughter will be involved. 

When V's mom comes to take her home, the house returns to its quiet stillness. As I wash the dishes, sweep the cookie crumbs off the floor, and straighten the living room, I smile because it was my good fortune to laugh with a child. I look forward to my next visit with Miss V. The echoes of her laughter linger in our home, and make me smile at our memories.

K Is for Kindness

Kindness is being friendly, generous, and considerate, and is usually shown in some small gesture. It costs nothing, and is worth so much. 

Friendliness can be shown in so many ways. A warm greeting, and a sincere smile. Checking on a friend we haven't seen in awhile. Offering to share with someone nearby.

By definition, kindness involves generosity, but that does not necessarily require money. We can be generous of spirit, generous with our time, generous with praise, and generous with our love.

Consideration of others seems like it shouldn't be a big deal; it's a no-brainer. Oh, but how many mamas and teachers (and co-workers) wish everybody could get this right? 

If you get it out, put it away. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you have something, share it. If you want something, ask for it nicely. Use your manners. Say please and thank you. Treat others the way you want to be treated. 

Kindness is contagious; it seems to have a ripple effect. KINDNESS seems like a good intention as we approach our day. There are so many opportunities to show those around us we care. We can start small, with the people closest to us. 

Who could benefit from your kindness today?

Be kind whenever possible.

It is always possible.

-Dalai Lama

J Is for Joy

Many of us get into the habit of blaming circumstances for a bad day. I know I have. I've complained about the weather, sickness, pain, and even bad hair days for having a less than stellar day. 

So maybe I'm not the poster child for joyful living, but I'm trying to remember it's never about the things; the rain, the paper cut, the bank balance, or even the diagnosis. Our circumstances don't determine our attitude; we do.  We can choose suffering or joy. We need to ask ourselves, which do we want?

It's tempting to look at others and envy their circumstances. From the outside looking in, it's easy to overlook the challenges and trials someone is facing now, or overcame before, to become the person they are. Two people may be experiencing the same trial, but the attitude each chooses will determine the quality of their lives.

We all know that friend or family member who seems to face adversity every day, who amazes us with a positive outlook, and even manages to inspire us with the way she lives. It's not that she is more blessed or given more advantages; she has chosen to be joyful in spite of her situation.

     Circumstances don't create joy; we do.

I have a friend who creates joy for herself and others. She always offers a smile and a word of encouragement for everyone she meets. Not many know the inner battle she fights every day to live in the moment, and to act bravely. She could choose suffering, broadcasting her troubles to everyone she knows, but she doesn't. Few know of her fears, her weaknesses, her troubles. 

As we talked recently, I wondered how she is able to express gratitude for her life, and I think it comes down to this. My friend realizes that while the future is uncertain, right here, right now, she has been given this moment, and she is able to find she still has so many blessings. Her secret is that there is joy to be had living in the now. She would be entitled to be wistful about the past, and the way things used to be, or to be anxious about days to come, not knowing what will happen. She has determined to get the most out of every day while she can. 

Whenever I'm having what I perceive to be a bad day, I'm trying to check my attitude, and complain less, and focus on the things that are going right. My friend has always been my example when it comes to finding a reason to be happy, despite adversity, and I am striving to be more like she is.

My take away from observing her is that circumstances don't define us; we get to choose our response. So we don't get to blame anyone or anything else for our suffering, and we don't have to give credit to external events for our happiness. 

We create our own joy by living in the moment, and reminding ourselves of our blessings. It may take effort, and might be a challenge, but whatever situation we are in, I hope we can all discover something that brings us joy. 

I Is for Intentional

Have you ever tried setting an intention for the day? It's like setting an overriding purpose that will determine the way we approach each situation and choice. Intentions are different than goals; they aren't something we can check off of our lists. An intention comes from the heart, and gives us a frame of reference as we approach the moments of our day.

"Every intention sets energy into motion whether you are conscious of it or not." 

-Gary Zukav

If we live each day intentionally, setting a purpose for ourselves,  we will become more aware, and be more mindful of the choices we make.

Some of my intentions for this year are to be open to learning new things, to say YES to opportunities of service to others and to God, and to focus on my marriage and family relationships. Intentions can be anything from peace, forgiveness, acceptance, love, mindfulness, or whatever it is we feel would make a positive difference in our lives.

LIVING A LIFE OF INTENTION can make the difference between surviving and thriving. Setting intentions appeals to my heart and spirit.  It's less about quantity, and more about quality. 

What could you choose for your intention today that would help you move toward the person you are becoming?

Where Am I?

A high-pitched scream startled me from my nap. 

"Where am I?" I surveyed my surroundings through squinted eyes.

The face of a dark-haired toddler is looking back at me from several rows ahead on the Frontier jet. She had periodically pierced the air with her outbursts during our flight, letting everyone within earshot know just how bored and frustrated she was.

"You and me both, Sweetie," I thought wryly, pressing my head back against the closed window shade and my non-reclining seat back. I was tired of being wedged into this barely padded seat, and more than ready to get off the plane, too, but that was inadvisable at this elevation. 

One of the hazards of living my life between two states, Utah and Illinois, is not ever being sure where I am. I pushed the shade open, and the sun blinded me momentarily. Ah, the Rockies were down below. We would be approaching the Salt Lake valley soon.

Sometimes I wake in the night, unsure where I am. I listen for the soft, steady breath of my husband, and reach toward his side of the bed, relieved to feel his chest beneath my hand, and I know I am in our bed in the west suburbs of Chicago.

Other times, the soft moans from our youngest son's dreams in the night  stir me from sleep, and I reach out to discover the pillow beside mine is empty, and I remember I am in the double bed, sleeping alone in our tiny cottage in rural Utah, until I return home to my husband in Illinois.

In a couple weeks, sometime during my flight from Salt Lake to O'Hare, I might wake groggily from another nap, and momentarily wonder where I am. When I look out my window, the sight of Chicago's city lights will make me smile. 

"I'm almost home," I will tell myself, where my husband will be waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator in the airport. 

I know where I am, and it's exactly where I want to be.