tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post4138506432172002963..comments2024-02-24T02:52:28.237-06:00Comments on The Bees’ RV: Dwelling in the Discomfort SucksRandomocityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-84085793183965764632014-11-02T13:06:40.647-06:002014-11-02T13:06:40.647-06:00Thank you for all of your support. Your encouragem...Thank you for all of your support. Your encouragement touches me.Randomocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-10775151569331664632014-11-02T07:20:10.073-06:002014-11-02T07:20:10.073-06:00I love the openness and vulnerable way that you wr...I love the openness and vulnerable way that you write and share your life. I know that is an encouragement and message for others. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08258350561415023025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-68957404507521479982014-07-13T07:04:18.705-05:002014-07-13T07:04:18.705-05:00Kendra, thank you for reminding me that SOME men d...Kendra, thank you for reminding me that SOME men do leave. That is different than telling myself, "Men leave." Perspective is important. Thank you for reading, and especially for leaving a thought-provoking comment.Randomocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-34873369231150434652014-07-12T18:13:15.783-05:002014-07-12T18:13:15.783-05:00Your thoroughness in your response is impressive. ...Your thoroughness in your response is impressive. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, and how you handle change. I am unfamiliar with Byron Katie, and will spend some time looking at her website. Thank you, Deborah.Randomocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-76980089289965155332014-07-12T13:04:34.421-05:002014-07-12T13:04:34.421-05:00The reality is that some men do leave. (Trust me. ...The reality is that some men do leave. (Trust me. I know this.) The danger comes in thinking that has anything to do with you or your worth or your future. Even if all of them leave - dad, boyfriend, first husband, second husband (yikes!) - it's still about them. At least that's what your post has encouraged me to tell myself. (Can you tell these are the demons I've been wrestling with the past few days? Don't make me tell you what a crazy fool my demons made of me yesterday!) Hang in there, Sweetie. It will continue to get better, and worse again, but then even better. It's the nature of it I suspect. Big hugs!Kendra Burrowshttp://www.kendraburrows.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-36529960334258137182014-07-12T12:55:00.987-05:002014-07-12T12:55:00.987-05:00Hi Denise ... I had to chuckle here because while ...Hi Denise ... I had to chuckle here because while I don't consider myself to be dwelling in discomfort, I have come to realize that the best place I can be is to become comfortable with discomfort ... It is the edge of the edge where I love to be ... where change is ...<br /><br />I have been intentionally going after the unconscious core negative beliefs that initiated the creation of negative coping mechanisms to stay safe ... every one two weeks for the past 2 years I've been systematically discovering and dissolving those beliefs and replacing them with what is true. What I have found is that as I have done that, the need for the behaviors goes ... What I also know is that the molecules of emotion associated with fear, anxiety, grief, are real, embedded in our cells ... and when they come out it feels like all hell has broken loose ... <br /><br />Often I will use Byron Katies 4 questions and a turn around ( http://thework.com ) to help me through between sessions ... Sometimes just going to the website and hearing another person go through the their questions helps me with my process ...<br /><br />And, Retracing Sequence Method is the primary tool I've been using [and now practice in my area] and is for me to date, the most powerful "belief reprogramming" tool available ... Here's a link to that website: http://rsmsoulspiritbody.com ... <br /><br />I practice breathing intentionally when it feels overwhelming [and it does] and deeply rooting into True Love. I remind myself very gently that I do what I do until I don't and that the negative coping mechanisms are [were] there for a good reason ... I no longer mindlessly lose myself in sex, [one of my biggies] and I don't have to fight it ... food and busy-ness the same story. Illness, overwhelm ... same story ... <br /><br />Hope this helps some ... <br /><br />Blessings to you ...Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15334816225989593063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-48631436353043426612014-07-12T11:59:24.841-05:002014-07-12T11:59:24.841-05:00I heard myself telling myself lies, and making up ...I heard myself telling myself lies, and making up information yesterday. I need to ask myself many more questions, as you have suggested. I have always feared loneliness. I suspect the abandonment issues began long ago when Daddy moved out. It was all for the best, but I'm afraid my take away as a little girl was "men leave." Thank you, Anne, for sharing your thoughts with me.Randomocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-87795809310153434932014-07-12T11:55:44.568-05:002014-07-12T11:55:44.568-05:00That you took the time to share your insights touc...That you took the time to share your insights touches me, Susan. Thank you for your concern, and your suggestions. I'm always better at taking a longer perspective when I consider my daughter; I'll take that to heart...Randomocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11871574168607613060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-62194936118596265522014-07-12T11:15:25.246-05:002014-07-12T11:15:25.246-05:00Love when Suzi said become your own best friend. I...Love when Suzi said become your own best friend. I'd start by asking yourself what are you telling yourself? Chances are when we get to those hard places, not only do we let anxiety, loneliness, or other negative emotions visit us. We mirror what they say. "Never" and "Always," are clues who is over and what we're listening to. <br /><br />What has worked for me and still does is writing out things that are true. Then eventually when I tell myself lies, the other part of me argues with the truth. <br /><br />I'd also ask yourself why being by yourself is the worst thing? And whatever your answer is, question that too. I thought your post was insightful and vulnerable. I am going to guess it will resonate with many. <br /><br />I too have waves where things look dark and scary. I have to be very careful what I tell myself in those times. Thanks for sharing your heart and your struggles.Anne Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223619623545809261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-435639598621055127.post-1201039404060540492014-07-12T10:11:12.005-05:002014-07-12T10:11:12.005-05:00It's necessary to love yourself to be comforta...It's necessary to love yourself to be comfortable alone. It took me much soul searching to reach that point. My problem was I thought I knew and liked myself, yet I surrounded myself with people and avoidances most of the time. I enjoy my time alone now and with other people. My greatest fear too has always been abandonment. We must learn to never let it get in the way of living today. I don't have any advice other than not dwelling on your fears. I do know that it is much better to be alone than spending your life with the wrong person. Only you know what you need and where you need to be. Let your heart guide you, not your emotions but your heart; there's a difference. The fact you recognize your avoidance patterns is a big plus. You are stronger and braver and more beautiful than you think. Look inside and see what you find...you might just amaze yourself. Give yourself the advice you'd give your daughter; become your own best friend.SuziCatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889140153791941165noreply@blogger.com